


Not the Real World

by Tarlan



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Character Study, Community: mcsheplets, Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-20
Updated: 2007-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-21 13:33:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/225737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who is to say what is real, and what is not?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not the Real World

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the McSheplets #8: Season 3 Tag: The Real World

For once, the gate room was quiet, but then, only the late shift was working, with most of the expedition looking to their beds for a few hours rest at the end of a busy day. She knew she ought to be resting too but the day's events lay heavy on her mind. It was still hard to believe that she had spent only a few short hours in her Replicator induced illusion rather than weeks.

She had been on Earth and, for the most part, spent her time as a patient in a mental facility, locked away for her own good following a nervous breakdown brought on by the stress of negotiations and the sudden loss of Simon, killed in a car crash. Some of the people she knew and respected were in her dream, almost but not quite filling the roles she recalled from the real world. Jack O'Neill was a general but there was no Stargate program. Daniel Jackson was a linguist and archaeologist but she'd seen an Internet article about him being laughed out of academic circles for his theories regarding the Ancient Egyptians. Other people took on new occupations. Lorne was an orderly who helped her fellow patients work out their problems through art, his white clothing always flecked with paint. Teyla was a nurse, strong and serene, almost patronizing at times and yet remaining just on the right side of diplomatic. Carson was there too, his blue eyes full of sympathy mixed with a little despair as he administered to one of his patients, Rodney, who ranted and raved some days and had to be sedated while, on his better days, he would sit staring out the window, lost in his own imaginary world. He never spoke to her, never showed any sign of recognition even though she thought she knew him...from somewhere.

When she asked, they told her that Rodney was a genius who had burned out after one of his inventions destroyed most of a small chain of islands in the Pacific, fortunately with the loss of only a single life. It all sounded so familiar to her, casting more doubts on her memories of Atlantis.

The anomaly had been John.

John was nowhere to be seen in her dream world, at least, not at first. She thought she caught his silhouette behind a pane of frosted glass, thought she heard his voice from time to time, calling to her but always muted, as if traveling a far distance, yet always urging her to fight. One time, she thought she recognized his lean shape as he showed her the way out through her bedroom closet but she was not quick enough to follow. His hazy presence pulled at her mind, reminding her of why this could not be the real world, why Jack and Carson and Lorne and Teyla and even Rodney were not real. For unlike the time when the mist aliens gave them each an imaginary life, Elizabeth knew far more about her people now and she knew that if Rodney was here then John would be close beside him as a visible, constant presence. Her thoughts always placed them together these days; working and playing, teasing and snarking, squabbling and...kissing.

She closed her eyes briefly in remembrance of catching them together a few weeks ago after a mission gone wrong, stealing a kiss when they thought no one was looking. Such a dangerous game to play in John's line of work where a single disgruntled soldier or scientist could cause them so much anguish and harm. She'd meant to say something, to offer a subtle warning about keeping certain aspects of their lives behind closed, locked doors but they'd not slipped since and, unless a person knew the truth, it was hard to see their relationship as anything more than platonic. Just that one small slip that had opened up a whole new world of knowledge for her.

John and Rodney...Rodney and John.

Her thoughts returned to the white walls in her dream, recalling the fleeting glimpses of John as she ran through the corridors of the mental institute, trying to escape. He walked into the elevator and she followed after a moment's hesitation, finding it empty; the doors closing on one world and opening to another that was far more familiar, the dark gray corridors of the SGC. Jack had found her instantly and she was torn until she heard John's voice again, calling to her, reminding her that John belonged with Rodney, and that he would never leave Rodney's side willingly even if Rodney's amazing mind caved in to the stresses of his life. He would be there every day, cajoling and talking, trying to find a way to bring Rodney back to him.

She smiled weakly when John joined her on the balcony overlooking the Stargate, having been released from quarantine. At least she did not have to worry that he had become infected while trying to help her escape from the nightmare induced by the nanites.

"Least, I think it's the real world. I could be infected right now..."

"John, don't."

His lips twitched in acceptance and she could see his eyes narrowing, as if wanting to ask her a question that he considered a little too personal. Perhaps he wanted to know why she had chosen to trust him over Jack O'Neill. He smiled instead and walked away, pausing for a moment at the top of the majestic stairs leading down to the Stargate.

"Hey, McKay!" he called. Below, Rodney had walked in, eyes firmly focused on his tablet PC but he looked up, and the smile he sent to John lifted the last shadows of doubt in Elizabeth's mind and heart. She watched them leave together, enjoying the animated expression on Rodney's face and the pure indulgence offered back from John.

Once more alone, she stared at the gold fob watch that had been her father's, her personal item for that first step into the unknown, and she sighed. If this was still part of a Replicator dream then she wouldn't fight any longer because this was all she had ever wanted. And if John was also infected then she prayed the Replicators would allow him his dream too....of being with Rodney in all ways.

END


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